The Dark Side...

...of adoption-related Yahoo Groups is the topic of today's post.

I have now unsubscribed to both APC and SAC. Why? Because I feel that the members of those groups spend a lot of time being very self-righteous and critical of others. When I first joined those groups I was looking for a clearinghouse of information and a network of support. Instead, much of the energy seems to be spent arguing. Everyone just has to get the flippin' LAST WORD.

It began to wear on me.

I lasted no more than a week with APC, but several months with SAC. Over the weekend (when it's not moderated), my agency's group has also turned mean-spirited. It's incredible how one person's post can spark such a firestorm. Where's the grace, people?

Now, I could launch into some of the topics that have seemed to ignite the hottest debates and share my opinions - it is my blog after all. But, I would rather the focus of my adoption experience be upon my daughter, Jillian, not whether I'm doing irrevocable damage to her self-image by removing her from her country of origin and its culture, how I'm paying for the adoption, what I think about other single mothers, or how to throw a birthday party.

I didn't sign up for this experience to be filled with self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. I chose to adopt because I want to be a mother. There are orphaned babies in China who need parents. I don't care about all the politically-correct arguments when it comes to Jillian. I will do what it takes to bring her home and give her the best life I can, and I don't need to argue about that.