Sunday, August 20, 2006

Slightly Stressed


Word is the CCAA will be issuing new restrictions this fall for prospective adoptive parents, and possibly further restrict or exclude single applicants. It seems likely that this will not apply to me and other single applicants already logged in, as historically, new restrictions have applied to new applicants. But nothing is certain right now. This isn't the first time I've heard this rumor, but it is the first time that several agencies have formally put it out there. They must know something.

I am not going to let this get to me unless I hear definitively that it affects me. I do feel for those in the midst of the paperchase, and those who are waiting for a singles' spot. Do what you can to get it done!

I guess what really bothers me is that worldwide there are so many children in need of a family, and yet politics keep them in orphanages, foster care, on the street, or working at a tender age for those wanting to exploit them and/or use them for cheap labor. And yet here we are, with big hearts, a desire to parent, and the resources needed to raise a child, but it's so difficult to navigate the ever changing currents of adoption.

And as if it's not difficult enough to prove yourself to the governments involved in the process, there are those within the adoption community itself passing judgement on other prospective adoptive parents. They assert that some people in the process shouldn't be allowed to adopt because they are too old, or they already have children, or are single, etc. And while those things might make sense on paper, when you know the people who would be impacted by those restrictions it doesn't make sense at all. Some fifty year olds are in great health and they have the life experience and patience to raise a child. Families with children already can offer an adopted child siblings and all the more love because of it. And single women, who haven't found a worthy husband yet (that's a whole other post!), but have much to offer a child and the natural desire to be a mother will make wonderful parents (if I do say so myself...).

So, as things get more stressful due to the possibility of greater restrictions, let's not turn on each other and make it worse. If this is meant to be for each of us, then it will surely happen.

17 Comments:

  • At 10:11 AM, Blogger Connie said…

    Well said, Joannah!

    The judgmental reactions that fear bring out for some is so sad. It's so much easier for all if we stand together. We all share the same dream of our children in China.

    Thanks for wording that post so well!

     
  • At 10:27 AM, Anonymous kayce said…

    Hang in there Joannah. This whole process is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo frustrating. We had originally started with Russia and it was suggested to us that because of my being a Type I diabetic, that we should look at a different country. Russia has issues with diabetics. I was horified!!! Although we're logged in in China, I'm scared to death that when we are being reviewed, they will say no. I just have to have faith and all of us waiting out there WILL stick together.

     
  • At 10:33 AM, Blogger Paulette said…

    Judgment needs to be left to those reviewing our paperwork our agencies and CCAA. In this type of community we need to support each other and judgment is not support.

    I have had people say "I hope you can pick up your baby when she comes". Just to let everyone know I can lift my mt bike over my head and get it on my SUV’s bike rack on the roof all by myself. Don't think I will have any troubles picking up my daughter when she comes, now off to ride that bike.

     
  • At 10:35 AM, Blogger Julie said…

    Having been in the process for three years (1.5 of that waiting for a spot), I am wary of that rumor because I've heard it several times before. I'm wary of so many rumors these days because they cause good people such heartache. I'm reserving judgement until word comes from the CCAA officially.

     
  • At 11:14 AM, Blogger Michelle said…

    I totally agree. These rumors are stressing me out out too, as we wait(and wait) for our paperchase to come to an end. I'm with Julie. I'm going to try not to worry about anything until I hear offical word one way or another. Until then, I just remember to breathe(slowly, in and out!)

     
  • At 11:37 AM, Blogger Mariah said…

    The rumor of possible further restricitions is just a bummer any way you look at it.:-( Undoubtedly this will impact someone, somewhere even if it is just the stress we are feeling right now. Good post!

     
  • At 12:58 PM, Blogger Lisa and Tate said…

    Yah Joannah!!!
    Well said!! I am a little worried that this might affect me but like you, I will try to just ignore until I hear otherwise!!!

    Lisa

     
  • At 1:19 PM, Blogger Krista said…

    Ouch. Connie, Sandy and now Joannah's blog, too. I was trying to ignore this rumor! You're making it hard for me to live in denial. LOL!

    I've been following China adoption for many years and the singles rumors seem to come out every fall. I try to ignore them... but I can't recall seeing agencies actually spreading the possibility before it was fact.... so that makes me think it may be coming. I hope not. I was hoping for mei-mei someday.

     
  • At 3:43 PM, Blogger Christi said…

    I am with you Joannah. I don't understand the limits when I see the videos with rows of babies in cribs. It doesn't make sense.

     
  • At 6:20 PM, Blogger tracy said…

    Good post! Hoping this is just a rumor for all single waiting mommies!

     
  • At 8:51 PM, Blogger Sandy said…

    Well said Joannah! It just doesn't make sense with all of the children around the world that are needing homes and how each country is making it more difficult to adopt as time goes by. Like Christi said to me though, if they can change, then they can also change back at some point!

     
  • At 9:08 PM, Blogger Wicked Witch said…

    Sorry you are stressed. I think that things might change for us here. . . And, I personally would prefer to see singles adopting than a whole lot of other scenarios. Grrrr.

    I also, hate flies.

     
  • At 9:51 PM, Blogger Shandra said…

    Sorry you are stressing. I hope you can find peace knowing that the child you are menat to have will come home to you someday.

     
  • At 10:02 PM, Blogger AprilMay said…

    Grrr! I think that, if China is having trouble with so many applications, they could find a way to deal with it w/out crushing thousands of lives in the process! I would be "out" also, as I already HAVE two children, gasp gasp! Heaven forbid I actually give ANOTHER ONE a loving home!

     
  • At 3:12 AM, Blogger Stacy said…

    Very well said. I try not to listen to rumors, but sometimes I can't help it.

    Last week I was STRESSED about this adoption. I finally came to the realization that we don't have to go through labor, but this is our 'pain'; the wait, the rumors, and more wait. Looking at it that way seemed to relieve some of my stress. I hope that doesn't sound too silly, but it helps.

     
  • At 8:25 AM, Blogger Shannon said…

    I'm with ya! And also like you, I'm trying not to get too anxious until something official comes out. it's hard though...I always thought I would get Emily a sister. That idea seems out the window now. :-(

     
  • At 3:43 PM, Blogger Tamara said…

    You said it- how awful that politics keeps potential Mommy's away for their children and deprive children of a Mother's love. It is so frustrating.

     

Post a Comment

<< Home