Out of the Mouths of Babes

After school on Monday, a woman and her daughter stopped by my classroom. I had heard of them both before, and had tried to get in touch with them as I had been told by the school secretary that the mother had two daughters from China. I was so happy that Eileen and her daughter Kimi stopped by to see me, and we had a really nice little visit. Kimi is in kindergarten this year at my school, and she is just a delight. Meeting them was the highlight of my day. Eileen gets together with several other adoptive moms in the area and said she would include me in the future.

So, what does this have to do with the title of my post?

I decide to share this happy encounter with my students the next morning. They know I'm adopting from China and we've got a little system for counting the months since LID going. So, I thought I'd tell them how great it was for me to meet Kimi and her mom.

The responses that followed were interesting.

One little girl asked if Kimi and her sister were real sisters.

Another little girl said that she knew a girl at her old school who was adopted. She went on to say that her real parents didn't want her and that this little girl was very angry about everything.

So, this led to a discussion about adoption. It was a "teachable moment".

I explained that while Kimi and her sister did not have the same birth parents, they were most certainly sisters. They have the same forever mom and they love each other (and probably squabble with each other) just like biological sisters do.

I also told my class that adoption is something that happened to you. It isn't something that you are.

As for the little girl who was angry, I said that sometimes things happen in our lives that are confusing to us. When we have a hard time understanding them we might feel angry.

I realized that the comments the kids made are ones that some adults make to those of us who have adopted or who are waiting to adopt. We oftentimes get angry with them for their ignorance or insensitivity. I'm sure many adults who say things like this are ignorant or insensitive, but my students weren't either of those things. They were just kids with a limited understanding of a sensitive issue. They are innocent and naive. Their comments showed me that they were seeking to understand something that hadn't touched their lives yet.

I followed up this morning by reading them "Families Are Forever". My secret pal had sent that to me last week. (Yes, I said thank you to her - we have a blog for that.) And I think I'll share more books along those lines with them throughout the year to help them better understand adoption. Last year's class hadn't raised these issues. They asked questions, of course, but they seemed to have a different level of understanding. Just goes to show you that everybody is different.