Thursday, August 16, 2007


This post has been a long time coming because I had to be very sure before I wrote everything down and shared it with all of you.

Earlier this year I came to a fork in the road of my life. On one side of the fork, I could continue to wait for my referral for a daughter from China.

On the other side of the fork, I could marry the man I love and have a family with him. I couldn't do both, though, because...

Time is running out. I will be 40 at the end of the year, but my ob/gyn assures me it's not too late.

The wait has grown, and it's become impossible to predict when my referral can be expected. We all know that painfully well.

A decision had to be made.

I have chosen to marry Michael and forfeit the adoption. We will be married on November 11, 2007. I spoke with my agency earlier, and they are in the process of pulling my dossier.

It is bitter to walk away from this dream of a precious little girl I've called Jillian Rose. When I began this process two years ago next month, I fully anticipated that I would become a mother this very year. The wait has been as heartbreaking for me as it has been for anyone I suppose. Honestly, I have a lot of resentment towards the "powers that be" in Chin@ for drastically changing the timing of this process.

But it is sweet to be marrying my best friend and the love of my life. Very, very sweet.

I have come to know so many wonderful people in this community. I can't imagine not keeping up with your blogs and following along with those of you continuing to wait for your referrals, those of you traveling, and those of you living the good life with your babies. I also cannot imagine not continuing to blog for myself. I have grown to love this outlet. So, I'm starting a new blog that I'm calling All Things New, and I hope you will join me there from here on out. It's still under construction, but I hope to jazz it up real soon.

In closing, thank you for all of the friendship you have shown me. Thank you for the words of encouragement when I was feeling low. Thank you for your generosity. I have so many lovely things - I hope we'll be blessed with a girl! I will also understand if you feel that you'd like to have me return a gift you gave to me with the intention of it being for a baby adopted from China. So, if you feel that way, please email me and I'll happily return your item to you.



Late Summer

This has been a wonderful and exciting summer. I have had the opportunity to travel this summer for a total of twenty-eight days, and I've been to Sonoma Valley, San Diego, Madrid, London, Kauai, and San Francisco. It's been so much fun, but I am so happy to be home.

Michael and I just returned from a short visit to San Francisco and Sonoma Valley. It was very warm in Sonoma Valley, but a wee bit chilly in San Francisco. A word to the wise, always take a jacket to San Francisco - even in August! The city was teeming with tourists, many who did not appear to be prepared for the chill in the air.

It was just a quick trip, as we had some business to take care of up there, but we managed to have some fun, too. We squeezed in a little shopping at Union Square (no buying, just looking!), and we enjoyed two delicious meals at the Beach Chalet and an Indian restaurant in our friends' neighborhood.

But, for now, I've had enough of road trips and air travel. I'm just glad to be home with my pups. I've got ten days before I have to report back to work, and I hope to enjoy most of them close to home.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Secret Pal Revealed

Upon coming home from my vacation, I had a ton of mail, and in that pile of bills, catalogs, and junk mail was the final package from my faithful secret pal. Turns out my SP is Stacey Cashion from Tennessee, and she and her husband Jason are waiting for their first child, Jadalyn.

Stacey, I love the personalized blanket and burp cloth, and the adorable romper. Thank you for all of your thoughtfulness throughout the last year. I enjoyed visiting your website yesterday. It looks like you're all ready for Jadalyn to come home. What a beautiful nursery you have made for her! May the days between now and the receipt of your referral fly by. I know Jadalyn will be such a blessing to you.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Snorkeling in Paradise

Early yesterday morning we drove to the end of the road here in Kauai. You can't drive all the way around the island. The road dead ends at Haena State Park and Ke'e Beach. It was already busy by the time we got there because there was a canoe race going on, and many spectators (and photographers) were on the beach to cheer their teams on. Nevertheless, we found a parking spot and got in the water.

The water here was so calm, it was like being in a pool. The reef is close to shore and this makes for some excellent snorkeling in well-lit water. Within a few yards from the shore, we were swarmed by some larger fish who I'd say were well acquainted with snorkelers. They seemed to know that we'd brought fish food with us, and they were determined to get their fair share. One of them bit my finger! Little bugger...

The fish here are amazing! So many sizes and shapes. They are magnificently colored, too. I just kept thinking about God's creativity as I encountered each new and beautiful creature.

On the beach we observed all the roosters, hens, and baby chicks that also knew little fear of humans. Should one leave food on the beach, they were all over one's belongings rooting around for the food. This island is crawling with chickens and roosters!

We spent the rest of the day playing cards and napping. In the evening, Dad treated us to a nice dinner out at a nearby restaurant on the Hanalei Heritage River. We all enjoyed our fish dinners and mai tais. Yum!

Only 72 more hours in paradise. Sigh...

Friday, August 03, 2007

August Referrals

America World is pleased to announce the receipt of 7 healthy female referrals today! Families receiving referrals were logged into the China Center of Adoption Affairs on November 16 of 2005 (group 238). The little girls are currently located in the Hunan Province and range in age from 16-19 months. Please join us in congratulating these families, and in praying for them as they prepare to travel.

Congratulations to all the lucky families! I'm so excited for Terri. She's next!

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Slow Down, This Ain't the Mainland!

I finally got in the ocean today! It was wonderful, of course. Our beach is great for swimming and snorkeling, but I've only seen about ten people on it at any given time. There are beaches to the north and south of us packed with tourists, so I'm glad we get to enjoy a nearly empty beach. Last night at sunset, we all took our beverages, towels, and cameras down to the beach and watched the sun go down. There are a couple sandbars that jut out into the ocean from the shore, and we saw someone out walking on them last night. Because it was high tide, it looked like he (she?) was walking on water. It was very cool.

Yesterday, my mom and my sister and I drove down to Lihui to do a little shopping at Costco. I wish my Costco had a view like this from its parking lot:

We also passed the Coco Palms resort on the way to Costco. It took a beating from Hurricane Iniki in 1992, and hasn't been rebuilt yet, but plans are in the works to do so. Elvis filmed parts of Blue Hawaii there back in the day. I guess a lot of movies have been filmed here in Kauai, including South Pacific. We can see Bali Hai from our beach. It's lovely, really!

Today, everyone except my youngest niece, my mom, and me has gone off for a long hike. Sarah wasn't feeling well, so we've slowed down here at the house.

Aloha for now...